Has losing your temper become a habit?
Would the people closest to you describe you as short-tempered or angry?
Do co-workers and friends avoid conversation with you?
Do you wish you could manage your anger?
It can sometimes feel confusing and isolating when you have difficulty communicating because of anger issues. Dealing with anger can be exhausting. As time goes on, it puts increasing pressure on your relationships.
When the pressure of your anger builds, you may lose your temper. In those moments, does the intensity feel justified? You may feel right when it’s happening that the intensity is justified, only to later recognize that it was not. There may be a change in how your co-workers or family communicate with you or avoid communicating with you because they are concerned about your reaction. Losing your temper has become a habit, shaping your communication with others, making it difficult to make new relationships or maintain your current ones. Because of this pattern of loss, your emotional reactions may cause you to shut down or withdraw from others because you are concerned about your ability to control anger. As time goes on, you feel trapped by your own anger as you struggle to find ways to control your it.
Anger is a normal human emotion that everyone feels. There are ways to control anger
Working with anger issues requires courage and patience. Being short-tempered is not a character trait that one should merely manage, it can be changed at the root cause. I provide a way to control anger while the deeper work is in progress. Simply managing anger may be necessary at the time, but dealing with anger effectively requires strength, persistence, and honesty.
Every human feels angry when they are hurt by someone or are threatened with the loss of something important. When something is taken from us, the natural reaction is anger. We have a variety of emotions; they are all a part of us. While we may get angry at politicians or referees making bad calls in an important game these are all superficial triggers. The real work is taking a look at situations where your anger became volcanic for no apparent reason, causing you to lash out at those around you. Major changes in your life and stress can contribute to your short temper and cause you to lose your temper more easily.
Individuals who have trouble dealing with their anger tend to avoid communicating their issues with others. Commonly, it is because they are concerned they will be made fun of or, worse yet, be considered weak. Anger issues or dealing with anger can sometimes cause rifts to form in your friendships, causing you to feel alone and rejected. Eventually, you or your friends allow the friendship to dissolve by no longer communicating. The good news is that you do not need to suffer from the feelings of shame and frustration that come with being angry all the time or losing control. Being short-tempered is not a character trait that one should merely manage. A good clinician provides ways to control anger while the deeper work is being done.
Anger Counseling can give you control
Everyone experiences some level of anger. I have been in practice for almost 18 years and almost every patient at some point must deal with their anger issues, which seem to be universal. We all have anger from our childhoods that did not go as well as we needed them to go. Dealing with that is almost an inevitable part of growing up, becoming healthy and whole.
I have always been in some form of continuing education, supervision, consultation, and my own personal therapy and psychoanalysis since opening my practice in 2001. As a clinician, personal psychotherapy or psychoanalysis is not just recommended, it is, in my opinion, necessary. I can never take a patient deeper than I have been willing to go myself.
In our anger-counseling sessions, we explore ways to express your anger in healthy ways. Together, we will discover the source of your anger issues and begin to mend them. If losing your temper has become a habit, it is past time to sort out what it really means and deal with it at the source. If you do not know what the problem really is, you cannot fix it – however, well you think you are managing it. Counseling helps you to develop the tools and skills to express your emotions in healthy and constructive ways.
Anger therapy can be extremely effective, depending on the skill of the therapist and the courage of the patient. It is always a team effort. The first step for any effective therapy is the establishment of a trusted and reliable frame. You should experience my office as the safest place you have ever been. Trust is something that I earn over the course of the process. You cannot merely focus on tips and techniques; they never solve the problem. The focus must be on the unconscious cause of the anger, the current ways it is manifesting, and how future emotions can be understood and contained. Any other approach feels like rearranging the deck-chairs on the Titanic.
Fortunately, anger issues are easier to get a handle on than some other issues. I operate on the assumption that anger is energy, and our goal should not be to just eliminate it. Our work together should allow you to use the energy that was wasted in dysfunctional emotional outbursts. Anger, like nuclear power, is dangerous when uncontrolled but provides tremendous amounts of creative energy if managed safely.
You may still have questions about anger counseling
I believe anger counseling may help, but I hear it can be expensive?
Anger counseling is an investment in yourself and your future self. Managing and developing healthy ways to express your anger will allow you to better communicate with those around you. More importantly, it will allow you channel the energy that would otherwise result in a volcanic outburst.
What if my problem becomes too big to address or other issues come up?
While dealing with deep anger issues, some other issues may be brought to the surface. My therapy office is an emotionally safe haven, so that you may address any issues that arise.
What if counseling makes things worse?
Continuing to put off the issue will most likely allow it to grow, and over time will become a larger issue with increasingly destructive outcomes. Anger counseling is the first step towards healing. You no longer need to simply manage your anger.
You can manage your anger.
If you would like to schedule an appointment or discuss questions regarding anger counseling, I am available at (Insert Call to action Link). I attempt to get back to all voice mails and emails within-24 hours.
Make an appointment now
In the end, there is no substitute for just picking up the phone and making the call to set an initial appointment. I am here to help you make the change.